It’s been two months since my daughter’s Yaya Rachel left.
“Iya” as my daughter would call her, was with us since day one. She took care of Andie since birth and we became confident that she would stay for a long time (just like how my Yaya, who took care of me since I was one year old, is still with my parents up to now).
For one year and three months, she never had any complaints and loved Andie like her own child. I easily learned to trust her because I saw how well she took care of my daughter. Hence, we also treated her like family.
Unfortunately, during her month-long vacation in Samar to visit her family and vote during elections, she sent a simple text message saying she won’t be coming back anymore. It was tough and quite heart breaking but I guess that’s just how it is these days. Even if you treat them right, there will always be a reason to leave.
When my godson Rafa’s nanny left, my best friend Char and I talked about how attached we have become. We shared the same sentiments and she warned me about having these attachment issues. I told her I would probably be a wreck too if our nanny left. It’s just so difficult to find trustworthy, competent, and caring helpers these days. So when you find one, be sure to do your best to keep them.
Moving on was easier that I thought. I predicted that I would be miserable and helpless without my “assistant” and Andie’s companion slash distraction when Mama has to do something important… But I am thankful that I am not. And I have my support system to thank big time. My husband, my parents, my siblings, and the helpers at my parents’ house are really very supportive. Having them made this challenge easier for me to handle.
I would be lying if I claimed this was easy. Heck no, it’s definitely difficult; especially now that she’s walking (running even) and more active while exploring! I would be lying if I said I prefer this set up now. Of course I would still want to find a replacement nanny. I am physically tired, I have to sacrifice some things, and I don’t own my time now, BUT I AM ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT OF THIS EXPERIENCE WITHOUT ANY REGRETS.
I realized that spending time with my daughter all day, every single day, from the moment she wakes up in the morning, until she falls asleep at night (literally 24/7), IS A LUXURY. It is something most mothers want but cannot have because of various reasons. With doubled eye bags, stinky clothes, and an uncombed ponytail, my heart knows that I am still truly grateful for this.
I know that this is a beautiful blessing disguising itself under a pile of baby food, spilled milk, and soiled nappies. Besides, babies grow up way too fast. Imagine my baby is already running around now. What can she do in another three months? Her growing years are too short, and before I know it, she’ll be going to preschool already. I want to take advantage of all the time we have together, while she still needs me and wants to be with me.
And as I continue to take on this full time mom journey, let me share with you three important things I’ve learned. Hopefully they inspire you to be the best mom you can be.
- FIND JOY IN THE SIMPLE THINGS.
This experience of being a full time mom has given me a greater appreciation for the simple things. Every basic thing I do together with my daughter is essential for her growth and rearing her mindset for the future.
Since 90% of my time is devoted to my child (I left 10% for our business and a bit of blogging too), I get to be involved in the most complicated and the most trivial things. But believe me, all of them matter.
I really find joy in preparing her food, giving her long baths, reading her stories, watching her dance to her favorite music and okay dancing with her too… These simple things we do everyday make my motherhood journey so unique and special.
The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day. – O. A. Battista
- PROPER GUIDANCE IS KEY.
Since we stay at home/work at home moms, have chosen (or have no choice but) to spend all our time with our children, let’s be reminded not to take this time for granted. Make every moment worth your while. You can be with your child all day but if all you do is check on Instagram, watch Netflix, or blog about all the things you want to write about (OOPS yes hello to my many backlog entries!), then you’re just defeating the purpose.
Though I believe it is important for moms to also have time for themselves, try to guarantee more value into the time you spend with your child. Quality is still more significant than quantity in this aspect.
These days, my daughter is so fond of imitating what she sees and easily picks up our words and actions. A few minutes later you would be hearing her say that funny word or doing that crazy antic. That’s why we have to be very careful and set a good example.
I try as much as I can to teach her important values and good manners as early as now. Although she still can’t fully understand a lot of it, I know that guiding her properly will have commendable effects in the future.
Our children are watching us live and what we are shouts louder than anything we can say. – Wilfred Peterson
- THROW AWAY SELF-PITY.
While it is normal for most newbie stay at home/work at home moms to feel insecure and wallow in self-pity, don’t let it get into you. This will just keep yoking us down and will not foster any kind of growth. Stop being envious of utterly rich moms with three nannies to help them out, of working moms who have a career plan well plotted out, of moms who can still go out with friends, of moms who still look skinny or can still fix their hair and makeup even after having a baby, of moms who were born homemakers and can cook, clean, and take care of the baby in a breeze… We all have different circumstances in life. Every mom has her own journey and you must focus on yours.
Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation. – C. Everett Koop
Thanks for reading through another heartfelt parenting drama. I hope I did not bore you with the little pieces of knowledge I have gathered.
Always remember that spending time with our children provides a sense of balance in our lives. It will remind us that the BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE ACTUALLY NOT THINGS. 🙂
Enjoying No-Yaya Time,